Rebecca Dominguez
Please introduce yourself
My name is Rebecca Dominguez, I use any pronouns, and was born in Yarra Junction, Victoria, Australia. I have survived cancer (at least once) and a traumatic childhood, and I am a carer for several other people. When not doing the above you can often find me gardening, playing computer games, cooking, reading books or working.
Please tell us a little about how you see yourself, in terms of being bi+ / multi-gender attracted?
I am a bisexual, neurodiverse, polyamorous, femme person.
What would you like to share with us about your experience of being bi+?
I first realised I was bisexual when I was 16, in the days before the internet so I knew the term, but no one else like me. I’ve started coming out to people beyond my partner in the mid 2000s, after finding the bi+ community in Melbourne. Though coming out each time wasn’t exactly planned.
Once, I was volunteering with Bi Alliance Victoria at Sexpo where we had a community stall to raise awareness of the community and organisation. I used the work photocopier to make some handouts, and it jammed, so I deleted the job and moved to the other photocopier. Early the following week the technician came and repaired the jam, and restarted all the jobs, and my deleted job restarted. I went into the copier room later to pick up some work and two of my colleagues were looking at the pamphlets I’d printed, and I owned up to them being mine. They offered to help me hand them out around the office as they’d helped me hand out union related material earlier. I was super embarrassed though my colleagues were lovely and beyond that comment, never mentioned it again.
Finding the bi+ community was invaluable. I learnt new language about relationships, attraction and gender, I met amazing people who understood where I was coming from without having to explain at length. I made so many close friends that are now family to me, and shared in shaping a better world. I am immensely proud of the work I have done with the Bi Alliance, in working with community organisations and government to ensure that bi+ people are safer, heard and understood – though there is still a lot of work to do.
Despite all of this, coming out is an ongoing process that never ends. There are so many aspects of myself to come out with, do I tell them I’m bi+ and/or polyamorous and/or neurodiverse and/or etc etc. My attitude today to being out is that it is up to other people to educate themselves and accept who I am. I don’t try to mould myself into what someone else will find acceptable and instead am proud to be who I am. The support and power of the bi+ community has helped me accept who I am and understand the power and value in living authentically. I do not apologise for the multitudes that are me. I am.
